My Date with Hello Kitty

I've been away for awhile. I got caught up on Laguna Beach and then decided to prowl around town, looking for that sex-kitten Hello Kitty. Well, I finally found her. Things started off okay...we nuzzled a bit, and discovered we were both in heat, which helps conversation. She is a rather vapid conversationalist, however, and takes a very two-dimensional view of the world. This wasn't so bad, because it gives me an opportunity to really expand her horizons, if you know what I mean.

After dining on some carcasses out by the Jade Dragon Restaurant*, I went ahead and let her drink from my own personal stash of Wild Turkey, and that chick got wasted really quickly. Apparently, in Japan, she only drinks sake, which doesn't hold a candle to the fine bouquet of gnat piss bourbon. She put the moves on me pretty heavy, so what was a Tomm Catt to do?

After the monkey business was over, I asked her to please leave, as I needed to bathe myself and don't like to do so in front of company. She didn't take too kindly to this and managed to scratch a good part of my fur out.

I took a picture of her as she left, though, to add to my 'Cattboxx of Shame'.

'Luna Lunatic' by MyrFrost

*This link/song was not intended to defame, hurt, or malign any particular Chinese Restaurant or any person of Asian descent.

HNT: Half Nekkid Thursday

Growl. I heard about this sport and thought I would try it out...you know...for the ladies...Mrow.
I believe it was Sleep Goblin who asked "What's up with those feet?" Well, madame, I'll tell you. These feet tell a lot about a tomcat, if you know what I mean. Sure, they might not be pretty, but sometimes un-pretty things are useful. Know what I mean? Mrow.

Already, I've Encountered an Imbecile

BEWARE OF THE GODZILLA IMPOSTER!
Look carefully now into the eyes of a depraved sociopath. This...reptile...this cold-blooded, fire breathing, cookie grubbing WOMANIZER has inflamed my sense of dignity. Bloody hell, and ladies seem impressed by this...this...SPECTACLE of DEBAUCHERY!
Tell me, Mr. Calzone, what meds DO you take? And why aren't you taking enough of them? Hmm? I beg you, please. ENLIGHTEN me.
I mean, really. Isn't this rather the face of someone you can trust?

That Fiesty Dish

While I'm here, I thought I would inquire where one certain pussy cat lives.
She's a doll, that Kitty. And I always want to tell her, "Hello!" And I've always wanted her to say 'hello' to a certain part of me, too. Mrow.

Mrow.

Hello. My name is Tomm Catt. Recently, some friends of mine (Calzone, Monkey, and Badger) have been getting a lot of spotlight through this blogging thing.

I've been seen hanging around Fritz's blog from time to time, but I told her, "You get me my own blog, you jobless witch!" and I snarled at her. She did, and here I am.

I came from a jungle...which I promptly killed with urine


I started smoking...and now it's up to three packs a day. Send Marlboros.

I was introduced to some feral beasts. I haven't seen the likes of these in my native India. One wants to eat my head. The other one is mute...

...probably with fear...

Well, Hell, at least I got some freakin' food. But I was hoping for cavier. Or fishstix. Hot pink mice are considered a delicacy in Siam. I know this...I got contacts over there.